@SortaBad: *cute bartender gives me back my credit card*
"No it's cool, you keep it"
@theshamingofjay: It's cray that I totes obvi say perf and adorbz on the regs
@hazelmotes1: I can't wait to find out what new undeleteable apps that I don't want will be on the new iPhone.
@Aimiekins: You enter. "I've been expecting you," I say from behind the massive swivel chair. I put too much leg into turning around & spin for 5 mins.
@dave_cactus: *sitting on a seesaw for 20 minutes*
…OK, there's ONE downfall to being the last human alive.
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: That won't work
ME [planting bird seed] do you want a bird or not, Linda?