@teenpuke: *cute person sends me a selfie* *tries 897285623895 times to take a cute selfie to send back to them*
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: Before I play it, I hold the needle from the record and whisper 3..2..1. It's the vinyl countdown.
@Demented_Jokes: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me.