@_NTFG_: CW: What did you do on the weekend?
ME: I baked
CW: Nice. What did you bake?
@BBQJones28: Tomorrow I'm gonna chase someone...like really run after them..screaming and everything.
@WineMummy: When you're on a date that's not going well, just start talking about genital psoriasis.
@Jakexox: "Can you describe your self in two words?"
@Death_Buddy: *SEES SPIDER DRESSED AS A CLOWN IN THE SHOWER*
**LEAVES THE UNIVERSE**
@Crunk_Jews: [first day as Tour Guide in History Museum]
"And if you look over here you'll see a lot more really old shit."