@_NTFG_: CW: What did you do on the weekend?
ME: I baked
CW: Nice. What did you bake?
@Sophie2078: Christmas is great! You can sit on the lap of a total stranger and no one is offended.
@KatieBurnett: Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
@VerifiedJayy: Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking
@redherringbear: When I call you Hun, it's short for Atilla.
@chaddaniels34: Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind.