@CauseWereDads: "Dad, lil bro pooped on the floor!"nMe: Ok, just like we practiced. I'll hide in garage, you go tell Mommy. This convo never happened! GO!
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@WildeThingy: Teacher "Hi, why are you here?" Me "Um, isn't this the beginners' philosophy class?" Teacher "Yes and you're off to a really bad start."
@LukeErd: You love him. Your parents approve him. He buys you flowers and chocolate. He wrote you a poem that rhymes "wood" with "food."
@michael_raphone: [In the gym] hey guys it'd be a lot easier to lift these weights if we worked together