@xysist: Dad: Where were you?
Earth wire: Hanging out with live and Neutral
Dad: You grounded
@KentTheG: I dated a meteorologist once just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.
@BareChesty: Fingerprints are proof that God doesn't trust us
@primawesome: Did you know there's a type of spider that eats snails and uses the shell as armor to attack birds? That's not true. I'm sorry.
@mattZillaaaa: Some people wake up in the morning & are all like "omg I'm the luckiest person in the world" and I wake up all like "oh my god"
@GlennWool: when the news anchor says "if you know anything about the crime please contact police"
dont call the police and re-tell the news story