@DaddyJew: "Daddy, how are babies made?"
"Well son, when a man and a woman have too much to drink.."
@VerifiedDrunk: Jesus is all like eat my body, drink my blood and I'm all like dude, I only like you as a friend.
@pakalupapito: occupation: the family disappointment
@FrogAvalanche: "How's the wine?"
*sips, swills, spits*
"Wow it's got too much body."
"Sorry, I should have evicted the tenants first."
@Contwixt: FUN BIT OF TRIVIA...The hard-working individuals who discover and preserve ancient pastas and breads are called starchaeologists.
@Mr_Kapowski: Real Estate Agent: Do you want to look at the model homes?
Me: I'm flattered you think I'm a model but I'll just look at the regular homes