@DaddyJew: Daddy, what's for dinner?
"did you have cereal for breakfast?"
@Robert_Beau: For years I thought hitchhikers were complimenting my driving.
@joejwest: "murder" she wrote
"your password must contain at least one number and one upper case letter" the screen said
"murd3R" she wrote, frowning
@DaddyJew: Executioner: any last words?
Me: pineapple belongs on pizza. Hit the switch
@norm: Biden: I'm gonna punch him.
Obama: Smile and wave, Joe.
@shutupmikeginn: Just saw IT. Cool movie, but I gotta ask: what was up with that clown?? Killing kids? Not good.