@DaddyJew: Daddy, what's for dinner?
"did you have cereal for breakfast?"
@Stand_Up_Shots: "When it comes to racism..."
@Douchekevin: The girl I have a date with tonight texted and said 'I have no gag reflex ;) '
So I guess that means I'm taking her to a Nicolas Cage movie
@Bownuggets: I put my slacks on just like everyone else, from a waterslide into the loving yet frighteningly powerful arms of my pet minotaur Ferdinand
@shkeeber: Potatoes are just poor defenseless vodka fetuses.
Remeber that the next time you eat a french fry or hash browns, you monsters.
@WienerToboggan: What idiot named it balding & not vanishing into thin hair