@electrolemon: damn demi, your rap battle opponent didn't even try to diss your clothes. what's your secret. [camera pans out to show all-orange outfit]
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@anerdonfire2: As we debated who would win between Vader and Gandalf, we suddenly realized our dates had left
@SteveSuckington: [first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?
@Underchilde: A friend asked how I’d describe a hot air balloon, and I just told him it’s a lot like my ex, but with a basket.
@Paxochka: It's cute how alcohol comes in a paper bag so when you hit rock bottom you have something to hyperventilate into.