@mariokeyparty: Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you're really clingy and annoying
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@ThaJawn: I grew up on cartoon violence So naturally, when I fight, it's a giant dust ball with stars and exclamation points flying about
@stockejock: I'm white, but not cage free range eggs in my quinoa-kale quiche for my gluten, lactose, and peanut free Sunday brunch white.
@iwearaonesie: [on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*
@WilliamAder: If I'm ever captured as a spy, all they'd have to do to get me to talk is put my house slipper on the wrong foot.