@Thee1_4U: Damn girl, are you a jar of pickles? Because I think I NEED to bang you on my kitchen counter.
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@AndyAsAdjective: [texting] -have a good day You two! *to Ugh *tpp Arghh *yoo DAMMIT *two shit *TOO YOU TOO There! :) -please stop texting me Ha! You two!
@osigat: When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions.
@RegularFred: Wife: that's never going to work Husband: you're so negative, Sandra W: you're planting bird seeds H: LET ME GROW MY BIRDS, WOMAN
@Amusitr0n: Alien Archeologist: this human was buried covered in chicken bones, we theorize he believed in a poultry afterlife. Me: (25,000 years earlier, climbing into a KFC dumpster in the dead of night)