@Home_Halfway: Damn girl are you a kids movie from my generation because you're fun and cute but also horrifying in many ways I didn't originally realize.
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@nimble__nick: Dog: [Barks at the mailman] Human: Bad dog. Dog: [Turns to the camera] My human hates bills, yet gets mad when I try to scare the guy off.
@Danny_Dilford: I was wondering why I wasn't picking up any chicks recently, but then I realized my Monster energy sticker fell off my car