@justabloodygame: Damn girl, are you astrophysics? Because I don't know enough about you to finish this joke.
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@PaperWash: GF: I think I'm gunna start a Twitter account Me: *whips head around* I'll help you set it up! *Grabs GF's phone and hurls it into the Sun*
@ClichedOut: A 23-yr-old woman in India fought off an adult tiger with a stick. My cat stole my tuna sandwich right out of my hand.