@gingerfaced: My current diet all ends with an S. Pizzas. Hamburgers. Tacos. Nachos. Everything that's in sights.

@moose_chocolate: "Carrie" is my favourite movie about how religious faith leads to supernatural mass murder.

@NicestHippo: Mario is a game where you save a girl from the terrible fate of hanging with a dude who owns a castle

@AverageCorners: My garden shed door keeps opening and closing. Is it the wind? Yes. Am I going to tell my kids it's haunted so they stay out? Also yes.

@LosLos__: Got home late to a note that said "Wake me up for sex", which I stared at for 10 mins before realizing it was my own handwriting.