@reesespiece_: Funny how whenever I ask someone how a girl I knew is doing, the first thing they say is "married."nLike that's gonna stop me!

@desi_princess: Seriously you guys, the only reason to check Facebook, is to find out where people are going, and then go somewhere else.

@TheWriteStuff2u: I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.

@Ideal_Victoria: Relax lady, I don't want your husband. I just want the sandwich he's eating.

@RobertMorschel: I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."