@SergioValenCo: Damn girl, are you my Bachelor's degree because you wasted my time and now I hate you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jergarl: One time a giant spider crawled up my sleeve. Ironically, that's also the day I learned karate on a ladder.
@lazerdoov: I bought "extra whitening" toothpaste and now my teeth are spending a year in Korea teaching English
@darksidedeb: I've started slipping an occasional "meow" into everyday conversations with people to see if they're really listening meow to me.