@SergioValenCo: Damn girl, are you my Bachelor's degree because you wasted my time and now I hate you.
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@cuntyfruitbats: Here Here Here Here Here Here Here -1 sided text conversation between me and my 18yo daughter because all I do is pick her up from places.
@Sassafrantz: Lauren's coming over. "Lauren from work or the one who pretends to be a Dr?" Lauren: Sorry I'm late, I removed a gooblyglop from a dinkis.
@ariscott: I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled "come on" and then they tried harder.
@ch000ch: woops did i leave both of my bowling trophies in my hands during sex again that's embarrassing