@Jamie1947: Damn girl, are you my cable remote? Because you are weirdly designed and very confusing, and does this row of buttons even do anything?
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@AlisonLeiby: I'm calling Facebook "Mom" now because all it does is tell me who from my high school is engaged and remind me about my cousins' birthdays.
@nocturnology: Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of.
@bellicosejason: A friend just texted me & asked for relationship advice. That's like asking the pope to name all the members of Slipknot.
@CherBear162: I would never get a minivan because I can't even think of 7 people I'd want to be stuck in a vehicle with.