@illTortuga: Damn girl are you the sun because you need to stay 92,960,000 miles away from me.
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@amishschool: Me teaching Wilderness Survival Class: "OK EVERYBODY WATCH CAREFULLY AS I DRIVE *AWAY* FROM THE WILDERNESS."
@spark_asis: I don't get why someone would want the house in a divorce. "your honor, I'd like to keep the building where my soul was sucked dry."
@SteveDutzy: I hate killing bugs so instead I spend hours trying to get it in a cup so I can toss it outside after accidentally taking off 3 of its legs.
@TFriss: If you watch Harry Potter backwards, Voldemort is really good at zapping people back to life and turning Harry into a baby.