@gruffybeard: Damn girl, are you the Sunday crossword because I want to spend all day doing you...
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@longwall26: If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them
@ElgatoEsmio: We met for coffee yada yada yada next thing I know we're in the back of my car covered in lobsters and her dog is driving us to the ER
@ScubavelliDeux: *whispers seductively in your ear* "...look at that last slice of pizza and you're dead to me..."