@RdrJay47: Damn Girl, did you just get in a water balloon fight or are you happy to see me?
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@djdarrellripley: Her: Oh, please... You'll make a pass at anything in a skirt. Me: Yeah, last night a Scotsman nearly killed me!
@careworn: When a guy wearing cargo pants hits on me I'm tempted to go out with him just to see how many of my belongings I can fit into his pockets.
@noog: "What sins have you committed?" Well... [20 minutes later] ... finally fit my whole fist up there. I shit you not. Father? *vomiting sound*
@KalvinMacleod: If you would have told me 20 years ago that I'd be posting stupid jokes on the internet, I would have said what's an internet.