@johnbiehl: Damn girl, if you was a fruit you'd be a fineapple, if you was a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital as often as I could.
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@MrAaronAbrams: I made fun of a lady swaddling her dog in a blanket and she overheard and turns out it wasn't a dog it was her baby hey have a great Monday.
@Sadieisonfire: I put Infinite Warfare on Craigslist and of course I'm getting the geniuses texting me
@Quartzjixler: The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said "Keep the change" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase.