@briangaar: Damn it's cold out. Better wear a coat, hat, gloves & boots. Sorry legs, you're still getting pants only, thanks for doing all the work tho
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@imteddybless: my cousin's baby is due tomorrow & my grandma keeps checkin her phone for news. waitin for the baby 2 text her like "im here lol. from baby"
@WilliamAder: Shutdown Apocalypse Update: GPS is down. Using a refrigerator magnet as a compass. I think it's just pointing to another refrigerator.
@froghammer: People used to be much smaller. WWII people were a foot shorter. Medieval people were basically hobbits. Jesus was the size of a cat.
@TheMichaelRock: I'm not saying you started that fire, Billy Joel; I'm just saying that innocent people don't write songs to defend themselves.