@ElleOhHell: Damn, Starbucks. Not only do you spell my name completely wrong AND screw up my order, but on my way out some woman keeps calling me a thief
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@ArfMeasures: GF: What's my biggest flaw? ME: You haven't got any, you're perfect, I love you GF: No come on, I mean pacifically ME: We should split up
@gagging: If you think marijuana doesn't kill you've obviously never read the bible. People getting stoned to death left and right.
@WilliamRodgers: Everyone stop over reacting! There was no Earthquake.... I slipped in the shower, these things happen...
@k_lli: My favorite part of the holiday party is getting to meet my coworkers' dates & find out who chooses to put up with these people for free.