@StillJessLS: Damn you Jehovah's, suckered me in to opening my door. Sure,I'll read your literature, while you read my twitter. We'll see who converts who
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@AtticusFinch79: [marriage counseling] Ginny- He always hides from our problems. Therapist- Is this true? Harry- *puts on invisibility cloak* No.
@olerunkbitch: Made a weird face in the mirror this morning and I looked like Ted Cruz. This is my suicide note.
@Ygrene: No time to exercise? Get the results of a 30 minute workout in only 3 seconds by accidentally stepping on your cat on the stairs in the dark