@vladchoc: Dance like no one's a werewolf. Eat like you found it in the couch. Shout like your cat's sleeping. Feel good like a bossy poem told you to.
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@deardilettante: [ first date ] Me. Do you take drugs? Him. I never touch them. Me. Perfect. Can I have a urine sample?
@Mr_Kapowski: Coworkers: Zack, you should come to a hookah bar with us! Me: Why? Who's celebrating their 12th birthday?
@carlyken: A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them.
@PissAndry: These boots were made for walking, and that's just what they'll do. One of these day--oh goddamn it. Did you glue these to the floor, Carl?!