@ninatreemonkey: Dance like theres no tomorrow OH MY GOD THERES NO TOMORROW WHY ARE WE DANCING
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@JB4Realz: [PHONE] "TSA, How can I help you?" Me: "Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!" Agent: "Umm..." Me: "DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"
@trojansauce: origin stories: spiderman: bitten by spider green hornet: bitten by green hornet gambit: bitten by a gam magneto: bitten by magnetic toe
@Mindless4Miles: [orders pizza] Would you also like our cheesy bread, comes with sauce? Are you trying to sell me a side of pizza with my pizza? 2 please.