@ninatreemonkey: Dance like theres no tomorrow OH MY GOD THERES NO TOMORROW WHY ARE WE DANCING
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@NotARatsAss: Make sure to stand in the middle of group photos. It will be harder to crop you out later.
@NinjaFuneral: Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that...
@EndhooS: [Looking at ultrasound monitor with my wife] Wife: Look at it's little heart beating! Isn't it amazing... Me: It looks like a crossiant
@DamonHunzeker: If you're able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging.