@MadamBetteNoire: Dance like you aren't depressed. Sing like you didn't kill that homeless guy. Love like you don't have herpes.
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@clyderun: At the bar I got into a factual debate with another patron. He pulled the "I have a PhD" card. Now he has a PhD AND a fork in his eye.
@NATxHAN: Had a 6" sammich from subway today, and it totally didn't fill me up. I get it now ladies, and I'm so, so sorry.