@hipstermermaid: Dance like you won't be turned into a gif.
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@nbadag: WIFE: can you preheat the oven? ME: you mean heat it WIFE: not this again ME: it can't be heated before it's heated. don't give me that look
@Jeffwni: Little Known Fact: Bon Jovi has five brothers: Bon Joi, Bon Joii, Bon Joiii, Bon Joiv and Bon Jov
@TheRealRHB: Hey Alaska wilderness show person who is about to freeze to death with no hope in sight, maybe just cuddle up with the crew filming you...
@ClichedOut: I buy my shoes three sizes too big so if I run into a clown posse I'll have automatic street cred.