@robfee: Dang girl are you the old lady from Up, because I've only been here for like 5 minutes and you're already gone.
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@squirrel74wkgn: "What's funny?" The microwave beeping as you walked backwards. "Why's that funny?" Because large objects beep going in reverse, Diane.
@Reverend_Scott: I wonder if anyone besides me has the bumper sticker, "Proud parent of your wife's kid."
@JaimeSamantha: It's wildly known that all the great artists of the renaissance era loved eating pizza in sewers.
@ch000ch: my doctor refuses to fight me and i think it's cause he saw how i barely cried during my flu shot