@robfee: Dang girl are you the police on Grand Theft Auto, because 2 minutes after I leave you forget all about me & move on to someone else.
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@stephenjmolloy: *6 hours of Russian roulette* Me: "I think I forgot to load a bullet in this gun."
@pleatedjeans: [airport] For $800 more you can upgrade to Arctic Class What's that? Same as coach but the flight staff is penguins [slaps table] SOLD
@robdelaney: Always have a fake name at the ready so you don't tell the cops something stupid, like "Andrew Granola."
@mayamanion: My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy, she caught him cheating so she took away his play station for a week