@Lovepink1120124: Dang I didn't make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
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@bossybutfair: If I see under 30s getting married, I want to kiss them for their optimism and punch them for their stupidity.
@DranoRaul: I learned two important lessons today. I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
@shawnspree: Wife: Why do I have a temperature of 101.3? Me: Maybe you're pregnant? Wife: What's wrong with you? *damn you webMD, damn you.
@carlyken: Told my coworker I want a dragon. He said I'm crazy for wanting anything that might set all my shit on fire but he's the one that's married.