@SamGrittner: Daniel Day-Lewis is so method that in preparation for the role of Abraham Lincoln in 'Lincoln' he spent ten months on the side of a penny.
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@hamspamtymaam: Instead of chasing after Taylor Swift, I'm just going to wait until she breaks up with everyone else so I'm all that's left.
@LeBearGirdle: *trying to ask a girl on a date* Me: hi, um [nervously wets lips] would you wanna go out sometime? Her: was- was that a mop?