@trojansauce: daniel radcliffe's family were just known as the cliffe's until his great grandfather invented the kick flip
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@One_FineMess: Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode.
@RobDenBleyker: I'll never forget what my grandfather told me before he died. He said "Never forget what I'm about to tell you" then some story about corn.
@PajamaStew: Bad Coroner: This guy you brought in a few days ago, I think I know how he died. The last thing he ate was spaghetti with bullets in it.
@BlindChow: (1:35pm) God: Yo Abraham (1:37pm) Abe: sup (1:38pm) God: Need u to kill ur son (1:42pm) Abe: k (4:02pm) God: jk lol (4:10pm) God: u there?