@CraveMyThoughts: Date someone who spoils you, always says how beautiful you are, and never thinks you've had enough to eat.
Date your grandma
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@dlockw21: *First Date Her: Why are we at Home Depot? Me: I wanted to see what it's like to pick out bathroom tile with you. See if this is worth it.
@Contwixt: Good news: It works the other way around. I entered "internal bleeding" & "unconscious" in WebMD and it said I have a stuffy nose. Phew.
@CM2BTTHD: Our dog runs away so much, I'm just going to spray paint our phone number on her side.
@mrtruthandsoul: I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
@aimlessamers: *feeds you Cheetos while running my fingers through your hair*
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