@KKAlThani: Date tip: buy a calendar
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@HiddleDeeDee: "There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU." And other inspirational things I say to my kids when we're in public.
@GrantTanaka: [band comes out for encore] DO YOU WANNA HEAR ONE MORE crowd: YAAAAAHHHH me: GETTING KINDA LATE GUYS
@TheCatWhisprer: The scene in Rocky where he breaks open raw eggs and drinks them but me breaking open Cadbury eggs into a glass of chocolate milk.
@shutupmikeginn: You learn something new everyday. Yesterday I learned eating 29 SlimJims gives me diarrhea. Today I learned eating 28 also gives me diarrhea