@Taryn_: That awkward moment when someone is cooking fish in the office and all the girls begin sniffing themselves.
@jwoodham: Internet dating? No thanks. I like the internet, but I don't like like the internet.
@TheresNoGodzila: *gets on 1 knee*
Me: I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but will you marry me?
Her: Please get off my knee
@GonzoVice: You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.
@ClichedOut: *delivers baby*
*delivers baby*
*delivers baby*
*delivers baby*
*delivers baby*
Nurse 1: I'm exhausted.
Nurse 2: I hate Labor Day.
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