@juliussharpe: Dating is basically lying to women about how you like to travel.
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@crunchenhancer: I judge the strength of the economy based on what type of candy people hand out on Halloween.
@duplicitron: I heard that processed meats are just as bad for you as cigarettes so I'm walking around smoking a hot dog looking cool as hell.
@Squizbot: I would never cheat in a relationship because that would require two people finding me attractive.