@Christi_Q: Dating is hard because guys are like "You're hot, can we do butt stuff yet?" and girls are like "It's been 3 days, where's my ring?"
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@TheHyyyype: [hs reunion] JANE: i'm an engineer TOM: i'm a real estate developer AMY: i'm a lawyer *everyone looks at me* ME: *panics* i'm a hospital
@Sean_Burgundy_: Most women love it when you play with their hair in public Their husbands not so much
@TheBeerGuy73: *goes to the gym* *takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see* *hurries to the bar*