@Christi_Q: Dating is hard because guys are like "You're hot, can we do butt stuff yet?" and girls are like "It's been 3 days, where's my ring?"
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@ohpeetie: My hobbies include reading books, eating snacks, and sending emails referencing attachments without the attachments.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [spelling bee] Your word is 'mnemonic' "Can you use it in a sentence?" Memory Needs Every Method Of Nurturing Its Capacity
@rodney_at_large: If the final comments of your speech last 45 minutes, please don't preface them with "and lastly".
@internetluke: [plane] "Is there a doctor on board?" Im a doctor "Okay quick the passenger is having a heart att- Of fine arts "What?" Doctor of Fine Arts