@primawesome: Dating is just deciding if you like a person more than being lonely, then choosing wrong.
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@PFPTMillsy: How to cook the perfect amount of pasta: 1. Pour out how much you think you need 2. Wrong
@tat2skatermom: I have a doorbell chime for text messages. I just checked my door twice. I don’t have a doorbell. Line up boys. This kinda genius is rare.
@GrrrRach: If Jehovah's witnesses brought red wine and Pringles with them, I'd gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion.