@MaladjustedMind: Dating is like playing musical chairs. Somewhere between 25&30 the music stopped& everyone grabbed a husband. I must've been in the bathroom
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@HallpassCanada: You know you're getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
@Sickayduh: [recording studio] Producer: Um what're you guys doing? Singer: Ending the song Producer: You don't have to fade out. We'll do that in here.
@BuckyIsotope: *visits new girlfriend's house for 1st time* "Make yourself at home" Great. Thanks! *I crawl into the closet and begin sobbing loudly*