@MaladjustedMind: Dating is like playing musical chairs. Somewhere between 25&30 the music stopped& everyone grabbed a husband. I must've been in the bathroom
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@JenAshleyWright: Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that's your ghost outfit forever.
@InternetHippo: SCIENTISTS: We've discovered a massive black hole with no obvious qualities ME: Ok wow I'm right here
@ddsmidt: Throw me to the wolves and they'll come back with cute names, little sweaters & an affinity for baby talk.