@deardilettante: Dating me is like a walk in the park - Jurassic Park.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@causticbob: Americans: Iran and Iraq are countries, not Apple products, so say their names properly.
@AnkCoupleTO: Cute Internet Girl: This guy is pretty funny, I think I'll fol- Me: *Human Cannonballs my way into her living room* HELLO!
@Karate_Horse: [karate sign up table] "Ok guys with a ponytail or that are named Vince please form a second line you are the advanced class"
@msdanifernandez: My mom's favorite internet game is "Log me into the Facebook. Is this the Facebook? Is that your brother? Why is he drinking upside down?"