@EJGomez: dating tip #4: when meeting her brother for the 1st time make sure when he goes for the handshake u kiss him on the lips to assert dominance
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@Sarcasticsapien: I wanna learn to speak Italian. Partially to go to Italy but mostly so I can pretend I don't know English when people wanna make small talk.
@WheelTod: My wife says I've placed unreasonable expectations on our kids, but I think Superman and Wolverine will turn out just fine.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Tit for tat is just exchanging one palindrome for another, much dirtier, palindrome.
@CantWaitToNap: "Lethal Weapon" is my favorite movie about how to fix a dislocated shoulder.
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