@daemonic3: [graduation]
...and I owe it all to my mom, and my late dad *sheds tear*
[crowd cries]
*dad walks in holding starbucks*
"traffic, my bad"
@InternetHippo: me: this MAN thinks he's ENTITLED to my time! hey buddy i don't OWE you anything!!
my boss: do you…know how jobs work
@baeblacksheep: I'm shaking my hands to get my nail polish to dry and now this deaf guy outside wants to know how the story ends.
@murrman5: *sniffs date's hair*
[later on in ambulance]
"no, it's my fault for not mentioning I'm allergic to japanese cherry blossoms"
@UnfilteredMama: The tea party my toddler invited me to feels more like a hostage situation.
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