@EJGomez: dating tip #4: when meeting her brother for the 1st time make sure when he goes for the handshake u kiss him on the lips to assert dominance
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@murrman5: [reeling in big fish and turns to friend] you got the net? "yes" ok, google how to get this thing in the boat
@3sunzzz: Me: Will I live a long and happy life? *shake, shake, shake* SOON A DOZEN CLOWNS WILL MURDER YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP Me: This is the worst Magic 8 Ball ever.
@QwertyJones3: [First date] HER: I want a man who is intensely passionate when he sees something he wants ME: PASS THE FREAKING SALT