@Bownuggets: DATING TIP: Be a gentleman. Hold her door. Hold her hand. Hold her purse. Hold her for ransom. Demand a chopper. Fly away. Start a new life.
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@JessObsess: It's so embarrassing when someone gets to second base with me and finds crumbs in my bra.
@ParentNormal: VOICEMAIL: I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, my toddler typed the wrong password 200 times so I can't try again until next year
@Mom_Overboard: Women are scary. Take me, for example...I said goodnight to a guy, weeks ago, and he's so afraid to say the wrong thing, he STILL hasn't replied.
@armyVet1972: Just saw a boneless KFC commercial followed by an ad for apple flavored beer. Anyone remember when adults didn't act like five year olds?