@TDeeRock: Dating tip: find a guy with a compatible charger.
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@matt___nelson: [Fear Factor] HOST: and the first contestant to touch the puppy in front of them will be sent home *camera pans to me already holding puppy*
@tsunami__7: Worst part about going to work this morning was the look on my dog's face that said "sucks for you, I'm going back to sleep".
@VerbsRProudest: If you tell me my life would be SO much easier if I'd organize everything, I swear I will stab you with a fork. As soon as I find my fork.
@robfee: I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.