@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
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@MarionDowling: BREAKING NEWS: A werewolf has apparently mated with the Loch Ness Monster. Please retweet to raise a Were Ness.
@mommy_cusses: My son cuddled up to my bump and was talking about how he could see the baby and it would have been cute if I were pregnant.