@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
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@ObscureGent: Nobody discretely coughs blood into a handkerchief while wearing a top hat anymore.
@OneFunnyMummy: Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone.
@TeejayRush: Guys who try to pick up women on Twitter are a bit sad... Ladies, if you agree, DM me your number so we can talk about it...