@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
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@Brianhopecomedy: Took me 5 minutes to pick up the soap I dropped in the shower so I hope I never commit a felony.
@teenpuke: do you qualify to be my crush? *pulls out list* *checks off has a beating heart* yup you qualify
@runningmascara6: I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile, then walk into a pole..
@sixfootcandy: Me: Mmm...I love your milky white skin. Him: Ma'am are you registered for this class? Me: Yes Him: Step away from the CPR doll and sit down.