@KyleMcDowell86: DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU
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@pleatedjeans: Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall
@TedBundybitch: When I was younger I wanted to rule the world. Now I just want to spell words close enough that autocorrect can figure out what I'm saying
@Manda_like_wine: My cat just started kneading my back in bed and I said "not now" so wish us luck we're officially married.