@MoneypennyNaked: Dating tip: If you show a guy naked photos on your phone, 98% won't notice if you steal their drink.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sixthformpoet: If you watch Twitter backwards, it's about millions of socially-awkward people gradually learning how to survive in the real world.
@Tups13: I stare at the cats. "And in space, if you knock something slowly off the table, it just gently floats away." They look at me in horror.
@thatdutchperson: My life would have been very different had I done anything with the same intensity as brushing my teeth on the day of a dentist appointment.