@hazelmotes1: Dating tip: if you want a girl to hold you tight, start pushing her off a cliff.
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@OutOnTheMoors: Friend celebrated her birthday today by falling off an elephant in Thailand, if you thought I'm the weird one in my circle.
@RocketRankoon: Have I ever steered you wrong? *flashback to you at zoo in bear suit Me: They wont attack if ur dressed like one of them, now go get my ball