@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AmericanGent69: Me: Powers out. I'll eat all the food in the fridge so it doesn't spoil Wife: You just turned off the lights Me: *3 tacos in my mouth* what?
@Sassafrantz: "911, what's your emergency?" Me: A cute guy at the laundromat walked past me while I was folding my period underwear.
@KngHnryVIII: When children, who are hoping for your death so one of them can claim your throne, bring you brekkie in bed, don't eat it. #FathersDay
@Julian_Deane: Double whammy. First date is turning out to be fun & I also go to meet my hero Chris Hansen from Catch a Predator.