@FeelingMervis: DATING TIP: Size does matter! Tell her how big your TV is.
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@MoneypennyNaked: Me: Sorry, I can't tonight. I already made plans. Him: That's too bad. There's going to be open bar and-- Me: What time should I be there?
@JhonRules: *dumps Gatorade on an alligator* How does your family taste you green piece of shit
@Underchilde: I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there’s a lot of food in his apartment that’ll spoil if I don’t eat it.