@ibid78: Dating tip: to impress your date, put a napkin on your lap. Along with your plate. And the table. And the waiter. You're now the restaurant.
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@LizzieEMB: Him: Should you be eating that much chocolate? Me: Should you be using that much oxygen?
@Jagershot901: Hot singles in your area want you to come over and load their dishwasher correctly.
@Soo_Scandalouss: I leave spider carcasses on the wall to make sure the other spiders understand..