@ibid78: Dating tip: to impress your date, put a napkin on your lap. Along with your plate. And the table. And the waiter. You're now the restaurant.
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@Duke1173: *moonwalks into office* *draws dual finger guns* *fires off seven shots at Annie from HR* *holsters guns* *gets chosen for random drug test*
@abhorrent_wife: I'm at my sexiest when I find the grown out patch of hair on the outside of my ankle I missed with the razor the last 17 times I shaved.
@WetzelGeek: My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I'll be on a short leash though so I won't run off into the woods like last time.