@jwoodham: DATING TIP: When your crush texts you, win them over by playing hard to get. Throw your phone in a river. Change your name. Move to Belgium.
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@DaddyJew: You can literally take anything from anyone as long as you shout "police emergency" and run away
@Sassafrantz: As a mom, I know nothing good happens after you hear one of your kids yell "JOHN CENA!!"
@zachreinert03: I'm really glad they named a park bench after my uncle in memorial. It fits, he was great at having homeless ppl sleep on top of him