@jwoodham: DATING TIP: When your crush texts you, win them over by playing hard to get. Throw your phone in a river. Change your name. Move to Belgium.
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@BradBroaddus: My rear view mirror broke off. No biggie, I'll just put one of my contact lenses in backwards.
@six_2_and_even: Honey can you pick up some bananas, melons, peaches, eggplants and clams at the Innuendo Market?